Oh, I miss the Moving Journal. I am personally grateful to Paula, Annie and Joan for having given me (and many of us) a voice for thirteen years and for their having brought us all together and practically creating our AM community via the Journal. I am offering this bit of writing to say hello to all of you and kick off what I hope will be a fruitful continuing communication.
Over the years I’ve heard a lot of discussion about the necessity of having an external witness present in order to do AM. I recently had an experience related to this subject that may be old hat to some of you, but it was fun and new to me, I’d like to share it with you, and hear your responses..
I was doing an AM exchange with my colleague, Lucy Mahler, at her home, where we had lots of time. I was ready to move, but she needed a short nap. I decided not to just wait, but to go ahead alone, pretending I had a witness present. I draped some beautiful fuchsia and orange fabrics over a chair, to ‘be’ my witness. I arranged them just right in the light, to ‘be’ her looking at me, and I moved. It was fine. She was a great witness, very understanding and simpatico.
Afterwards I wrote to my witness praising her for the qualities she had that helped me to be so easily in my AM:
“You are a first rate witness. You bring no inner conflicts here.
You are my projection out of an inner part of me that is most specifically true to my deepest core feelings.
You are the part of me with the largest frame, the most complete overview through time and space.
You have interested curiosity about every part of me. You find me absolutely fascinating. You never get bored with me.
You’ve been there yourself and you’re not afraid. You say, “Go ahead. I trust you.”
You are an artist, a dancer, a creativity counselor, an encourager.
You make art of me.”
AND, the part I’m excited to tell you about is this: after I wrote all that, I reclaimed my projection by saying aloud in front of Lucy, in first person, all the positive attributes I’d given to my witness; saying them ABOUT MYSELF. I said, for example, “ I am (often) a first rate witness, (when) I bring no inner conflicts with me.” And “I do find myself absolutely fascinating.” (I stole that line from Katharine Hepburn.) And, “I make art of me.”
It wasn’t easy to say all those good things about myself. It brought up feelings of shame for bragging, self importance and immodesty, from a part that wants me to be normal, not a foolish oddball. I listen to both of them. My Shamer wants to make sure that I am sweetly connected to community and engaged in moving together, and at the same time, my ‘oddball’ self delights in the unpredictable and the unusual.
Saying all those positive things aloud in ‘public’ about MYSELF put me in a happier relationship to my witnesses, inner and outer, than I’d been in before. I’d like to hear what any of you do with this --- if it is of any use to you.
©2007 Aileen Crow
Over the years I’ve heard a lot of discussion about the necessity of having an external witness present in order to do AM. I recently had an experience related to this subject that may be old hat to some of you, but it was fun and new to me, I’d like to share it with you, and hear your responses..
I was doing an AM exchange with my colleague, Lucy Mahler, at her home, where we had lots of time. I was ready to move, but she needed a short nap. I decided not to just wait, but to go ahead alone, pretending I had a witness present. I draped some beautiful fuchsia and orange fabrics over a chair, to ‘be’ my witness. I arranged them just right in the light, to ‘be’ her looking at me, and I moved. It was fine. She was a great witness, very understanding and simpatico.
Afterwards I wrote to my witness praising her for the qualities she had that helped me to be so easily in my AM:
“You are a first rate witness. You bring no inner conflicts here.
You are my projection out of an inner part of me that is most specifically true to my deepest core feelings.
You are the part of me with the largest frame, the most complete overview through time and space.
You have interested curiosity about every part of me. You find me absolutely fascinating. You never get bored with me.
You’ve been there yourself and you’re not afraid. You say, “Go ahead. I trust you.”
You are an artist, a dancer, a creativity counselor, an encourager.
You make art of me.”
AND, the part I’m excited to tell you about is this: after I wrote all that, I reclaimed my projection by saying aloud in front of Lucy, in first person, all the positive attributes I’d given to my witness; saying them ABOUT MYSELF. I said, for example, “ I am (often) a first rate witness, (when) I bring no inner conflicts with me.” And “I do find myself absolutely fascinating.” (I stole that line from Katharine Hepburn.) And, “I make art of me.”
It wasn’t easy to say all those good things about myself. It brought up feelings of shame for bragging, self importance and immodesty, from a part that wants me to be normal, not a foolish oddball. I listen to both of them. My Shamer wants to make sure that I am sweetly connected to community and engaged in moving together, and at the same time, my ‘oddball’ self delights in the unpredictable and the unusual.
Saying all those positive things aloud in ‘public’ about MYSELF put me in a happier relationship to my witnesses, inner and outer, than I’d been in before. I’d like to hear what any of you do with this --- if it is of any use to you.
©2007 Aileen Crow
