tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3019816468081249500.post4783914028648663172..comments2023-06-01T08:49:26.892-04:00Comments on Authentic Movement Community Blog: Ideas toward a Relationship Safety Agreement in GroupsCZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03933916099581229045noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3019816468081249500.post-55371271958565379312010-01-26T06:46:39.345-05:002010-01-26T06:46:39.345-05:00Germaine,
Just what I imagined would be a wonderfu...Germaine,<br />Just what I imagined would be a wonderful possibility with the Blog. To be able to read it at moments of leisure which are all too rare. Thanks for what you say about my post and for all your comments as you browse the blog. I like revisiting the idea that rubs are inevitable and to be embraced. Alton did not write my post but as my teacher he demonstrated the ideas, gave some editorial suggestions, and encouraged me to facilitate so I could really learn how to get agreements to work. I am deeply grateful for the many lessons.Elizabeth Reidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00807994911867731672noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3019816468081249500.post-34616291177993917862010-01-25T23:11:01.649-05:002010-01-25T23:11:01.649-05:00hi elizabeth, as will probably be noted by the blo...hi elizabeth, as will probably be noted by the blog's virtual Big Sister, i've been perusing the blog this evening and enjoying this nice leisurely way of looking at it and making belated comments. reading pieces (like your own) written awhile back is so fresh! i really appreciate your piece. as tom mentioned, it's so thoughtful and non-pushy. i too like the 'rub' concept and the acceptance of this as being very valuable. i think i want to get used to this instead of pretend, in my discomfort, it can be obliterated. makes sense. i had a feeling of alton through the entire piece and was not surprised to find at the end that he indeed had an opague hand (mere gesture most likely) in it. i warmly thank you elizabeth. i'm going to refer to your piece frequently when the rubs come about... which will be any moment now most likely. it might be a good idea to print it out and put it on my fridge for easy reference. cheers.Germainenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3019816468081249500.post-52111003866982230652008-06-23T18:36:00.000-04:002008-06-23T18:36:00.000-04:00Tom,Thanks for your response to the article. It i...Tom,<BR/>Thanks for your response to the article. It is such a blessing to me that a blog piece is still there after quite a bit of time and can be read at the moment it meets your need as the reader. I hope your movement experience had few relationship rubs and felt safe. ElizabethElizabeth Reidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00807994911867731672noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3019816468081249500.post-54103266355347919662008-06-09T21:06:00.000-04:002008-06-09T21:06:00.000-04:00Thank you, Elizabeth for your thoughtful piece. I ...Thank you, Elizabeth for your thoughtful piece. I like your notion of relationship rubs and then seeing them as belly aches. I have lived with relationship rubs since kindergarten and earlier. What would school be like if we could deal with relationship rubs and accept them as you and Aileen advise? I speak in the present tense because I often seem to reenter kindergarten in every new group of people that I must interact with for a while. <BR/>I like your focus on "The invitation of AM/CD is to drop the need for alliances and support and instead to explore more deeply our own material." We need not be polite when out moving with eyes closed. Our job is to follow our own inner impulses.<BR/>I am headed into a group experience this weekend in movement. I am going to reread you piece and bring some of its wisdom to that group.<BR/>TomTomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08178651719949702419noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3019816468081249500.post-74116926418166600672008-02-01T09:16:00.000-05:002008-02-01T09:16:00.000-05:00I was moved to write this article on safety in gro...I was moved to write this article on safety in groups because of relationship belly aches in my own group. When consulting with other facilitators, I found that every one had a story of similar difficulties. I think we all aspire to Aileen's description of a process that allows radical acceptance of all, but in for example a monthly group with little time to process it is hard to manage. My own goal in writing the post was to offer suggestions of how to manage the less than ideal situations that do not allow for enough time to process. Also, I hope we all can find compassion and acceptance of ourselves when it is not possible at this moment in time to resolve a relationship difficulty. In my discussions with others it is so common a problem, that like shen pa I think it must be the human condition. <BR/><BR/>By the way I am very grateful to Aileen for sending me to look up what 'shen pa” is... There is a long, good description of it on Pema Chodron's web site.(http://www.shambhala.org/teachers/pema/shenpa3a.php) One part of the notion I liked was that the human condition is one of dissatisfaction. This grabbed me as I struggle with wanting things to be different than they are. Pema suggests awareness of the places that hook our sense of dissatisfaction might lead us gently toward more self and other compassion.<BR/><BR/>Thanks Aileen for your thoughtful comment on my post.Elizabeth Reidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00807994911867731672noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3019816468081249500.post-82978305298547814952007-12-30T11:56:00.000-05:002007-12-30T11:56:00.000-05:00More about projections, in response to Elizabeth R...More about projections, in response to Elizabeth Reid<BR/> by Aileen Crow<BR/><BR/><BR/>The subject of how to get the good out of our projections fascinates me: not just within authentic movement groups; but in the relationships between me and other people in daily life. <BR/><BR/>These relationships mirror those between my whole self and its many different inner parts (new ones coming all the time). It’s a question of which parts get identified with, and which parts get excommunicated. If something or someone ‘bugs’ me, and I identify with the upset part, I tend to exile the ‘something’ that bugged me and blame it. It’s Not Me. It’s his or her fault. A part of me, not the whole me, gets re-stimulated (a co-counseling term) by an old unresolved problem, or by seeing someone do or say something IT would NEVER do, or by comparing itself negatively to someone who does something better than IT could ever do. That part is ‘shen pa’ (a Buddhist term). IT has taken over my identity, or been put out onto another person.<BR/><BR/>One thing that helps me is to be careful about language. I learned this from Ann Weiser Cornell, a Focusing teacher, who wants us to distinguish between only using the word “I” to mean the whole self (which she calls ”Presence”), and calling it “something”, or “a part” when there is a sense that something urgent is disturbing us. <BR/><BR/>The fascinating aspect of all this, to me, is the prospect of taking that ‘something’ that got disowned and projected out onto another person, and mining the gold within it. Here’s one way I know to do it for myself by myself, which comes before dealing with projections within an AM group.<BR/><BR/>First, I need constant practice in being aware that I am my whole self (via meditation, AM, art, etc) so that I know when something in me is shen pa, or re-stimulated. The whole me is curious and interested to explore that something, not get rid of it, trusting that there’s something of value in it.<BR/><BR/>I personify whatever IT is: I find its rhythm and do that physically. And its sound. I can role play it, and move like it. I write dialogs between IT and my Process Mind part, which is curious about IT’s fears and desires. I almost always draw IT, and often make figures of IT. Projection is the stuff of art. <BR/><BR/>All this is Process Work (Thank you, Arnold Mindell), mixed with Authentic Movement and art, that allows relationships to be worked out, no matter how difficult they may seem in the beginning. As Cornell says in her book, “The Radical Acceptance of Everything”, “There are no enemies within.”Aileenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01445092687229883207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3019816468081249500.post-73835119608599317302007-12-05T09:54:00.000-05:002007-12-05T09:54:00.000-05:00Maybe safety is a quirky projection for each one o...Maybe safety is a quirky projection for each one of us. I love the question of how to make use of projections. For me anyway they are unavoidable.Elizabeth Reidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00807994911867731672noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3019816468081249500.post-78381012265203932562007-12-04T21:38:00.000-05:002007-12-04T21:38:00.000-05:00Elizabeth's writing was very stimulating for me, p...Elizabeth's writing was very stimulating for me, particularly the question of projections from witnesses. I hope people (you all) will respond with how to deal with that issue ---- either how to avoid projections or how to make use of them. And the question of what "safety" means fascinates me.<BR/> <BR/><BR/>Aileen CrowAileenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01445092687229883207noreply@blogger.com